First Meeting, Complex Developmental Trauma and Inner Relationship Focusing Group
My motivation to start a group like this has been with me for several years. My own history of developmental trauma (which included not being aware of it, becoming aware of something but not understanding what, coming to have a more coherent understanding, and learning to navigate my own complex system) gives me sort of a native interest. While I have been in learning communities of good and well meaning and even wise people, it seems to me that my complex developmental trauma background sets me apart; I often find myself wishing we could make an adaptation or at least a side note about how this or that can look in those with complex trauma.
How I understand this now can be briefly expressed by saying that a less complex system will generally not recognize a more complex system as more complex. (We don’t know what we don’t know.) People tend to treat those with complex trauma as being a distorted, disorganized, or broken version of the kind of system they are familiar with, and thus their efforts to understand what is going on and help are biased. They tend to assume rather than wonder. People also tend to feel stressed when in the presence of distress, and their stress often leads to premature efforts to intervene helpfully.
Those of us with complex developmental trauma histories are more complex system. It is right and good for us to learn about ourselves; what we need is an environment that encourages this inner exploration, helps it be done safely, and offers simple tools and small steps that we can experiment with. Most of us in this group have found Inner Relationship Focusing helpful in its approach to what we can call “empowered, safe self exploration” - though sometimes the tools or steps require some adaptation for our unique system, and we may use some but not all.
As I shared with the group, I experience people with complex systems as interesting, creative, often very funny, strong and sensitive, resilient, courageous, and often very tender. I am honored and grateful to be building a mutually supportive and encouraging community among ourselves.
By the way, I prefer to use the term Complex Developmental Trauma rather than CPTSD. I may say more about why in a future post.
— Jinevra
